Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Name

Institution affiliation

Part A.

Forgiveness is a skill that is effective in healing relationships and keeping it going strong (Toussaint, Worthington & Williams, 2015). Despite being a vital skill, my performance of the forgiveness skill varies when I am with different individuals depending on the close connection between the people. Firstly, I have good performance with the skill when I am with close friends and family members. This is because they have a close relationship that is built on love and empathy. Therefore, caring become the default way of relating such that when a friend or a family member wrongs me, I tend to forgive and let go quickly despite the hurt. As a result, it is much easier to resolve conflicts by believing in the good intentions of the friend or partner. Also, it is due to the fact that we always believe that no one is perfect.

On the other hand, my performance of the skill is bad when I am with strangers or people who are not closely related to me. When a person is hurt by a stranger, they intend to briefly step outside their pain (Toussaint, Worthington & Williams, 2015). It is easy to get lost in hurt, blind to anything beyond it due to the inability to understand the perspective of the strangers. Therefore, it becomes hard to forgive and let go due to lack of close relationship to salvage. At first instance, people think that there is no future to consider with strangers. However, forgiveness is not only useful for repairing friendship but also for one's well-being. I forgive quickly when am with close friends and family members and take a lot of time to forgive those who are not closely related to me.

In summation, people perform differently with the forgiveness skill when with friends and strangers. However, it should be made a routine so as to ensure reduced stress and increased overall psychological well-being.

Part B.

Part C.

The capacity for a person to accomplish forgiveness and let go all the past damages is a standout amongst the most basic difficulties numerous people face with regards to achieving personal happiness and peace (Toussaint, Worthington & Williams, 2015). Just like inside the class the ability to achieve forgiveness is very crucial outside class as it is absolutely necessary for long-term emotional and mental health.

I have had the opportunity to have an experience with the skill especially when a close friend and family member wronged me. I was able to effectively let go of the anger, resentment, and thoughts of revenge due to the betrayal of the said people. Despite the perceived or real offense, hurt or wrongdoing against me, I was able to let go. Also, I have learned that forgiving does not mean denying the responsibility of the person for hurting me nor justifying or minimizing the act. Instead, I learned that it means the willingness to forgive the people without excusing or condoning what they did, and let it go.

Forgiveness is a choice and outside of class, it is helpful to uncover and let go of anger and restoring hope in addition to moving on with life (Toussaint, Worthington & Williams, 2015). To forgive and let go, one needs to work through the emotions using stress management techniques like deep breathing, exercise, and guided meditations. Another experience with forgiveness outside class is that forgiveness helps in releasing us from past hurts, enslavement, and memories. As a result, it increases optimism and hope for the future. Also, it restores positive thoughts, behaviors, and feelings as well as promoting the overall psychological well-being of an individual. In summation, it is crucial for forgive as it reduces stress, increases compassion, and ensures hope for the future.

Part D.

A person’s performance of the forgiveness skill is determined by how well they are able to control their emotions because achieving it and letting go of the past hurts is quite challenging (Toussaint, Worthington & Williams, 2015). For quite some time I have thought that I was good at being able to forgive to restore my peace of mind as well as the relationship. However, a close friend whom I really trust surprised me when he said that I was not good at letting go of the past hurts due to the fact that I kept reminding him of the way other have offended me.

On one hand, I agree with him because it is certainly not easy to achieve total forgiveness and let go of the past hurts. It is true because sometimes I get hurt so bad that I am not able to stop feeling resentful or angry towards the people for a flaw, offense or mistake particularly when I am always good to them. In addition, forgiveness does not happen overnight as it is a conscious decision and thus requires time to let go of the bundled negative emotions.

On the other hand, I disagree with him because forgiveness is crucial to attaining personal peace and happiness and I always make an effort to let go of the anger, resentment, and thoughts of revenge despite the hurt or wrongdoing against me. However, I have learned with time that forgiveness is an essential skill and keeping revisiting issues over and over tend to cause more and more damage to my relationship with close friends and family members. Therefore, I have taught myself to forgive to enjoy the benefits of forgiving and letting go.

In summation, I have discerned that I am not that perfect at forgiving and therefore, I have made huge steps in learning the skill to ensure that I do not damage my relationship with others.

Part E.

People from different backgrounds tend to perform differently with regards to forgiveness. This implies that people of different age, sex, race, education, and national background usually perform forgiveness skill differently (Toussaint et al., 2015).

Firstly, children forgive the quickest compared to adults because they allow themselves to be entirely emotionally present. In addition, children allow themselves to move through their emotions more quickly than adults. Children cannot easily maintain a friendship for some time without being able to forgive, unlike adults. According to much research, women are more empathetic than men. Therefore, women easily develop empathy towards their offenders. This implies that women are better at forgiving than men. Men usually have a harder time forgiving than women because forgiveness is crucial in freeing women from the past hurts thus achieving greater social functioning. Women have been taught from childhood to empathize with others by putting themselves in their shoes (Toussaint et al., 2015).

Different races encounter different cultural and structural contexts affecting their ability to forgive. For instance, blacks who have undergone serious discrimination tend to have a strong dislike for their counterparts. However, in general, blacks tend to be more forgiving than the white due to their strong religious backgrounds. On the other hand, highly educated people fully understand the importance of forgiveness and thus tend to forgive quicker than less educated people. Therefore, the educated people always try to build their relationship on love and empathy. In addition, people of good national background understand the importance of resolving conflicts by acting in caring ways towards one another for strong long-term relationships. In summation, people from different backgrounds tend to perform differently with regards to forgiveness due to their different cultural and structural contexts.

Part F.

Forgiveness is a crucial life skill; however, it requires patience, instruction, and practice (Toussaint et al., 2015). Therefore, it is important that people be taught to forgive as it has many benefits.

Although some people are born with the forgiving and peaceful nature, a good number of others are not blessed with the gift and hence have to be taught. It was hard to teach the person the forgiveness skill as we had a short time and one has to spend a considerable amount of time teaching people the trait of empathy for others. This, in turn, allows teaching people about forgiveness to be much difficult. However, with the guidance on how to handle their lessons and emotions on day to day coping skills required to achieve a pleasant life within the society and community.

Despite that, I used several activities to teach and encourage forgiveness. For instance, I discovered that in order to effectively teach the life skill I had to inspire empathy. I had to analyze and explain the situation such that the person could consider the feelings of others. In addition, I discerned that in order to develop the skill, people have to have dialogue after regaining composure after the argument.

In addition, I learned that acceptance really helps. A great freedom exists in just accepting that something happened and although it will hurt for some time, it will finally be over. No one can change the past but can learn from it and use the knowledge in creating a happier future (Toussaint et al., 2015). In summation, it requires time to teach forgiveness skill. However, acceptance and dialogues are the first steps to learning to forgive.

Part G.

When a famous person unconditionally forgives those who have deeply hurt them, they tend to inspire many other people to pursue the forgiveness skill in their own lives. However, the crucial life skill does not come easily to people. a good example of a famous person who was good at this skill was Pope John Paul II who forgave his would-be assassin.

In 1981, the late Pope was riding past a crowd in an open car; suddenly a man named Mehmed Ali Agca shot him four times in an assassination attempt (Gillis, 2016). The Pope was seriously wounded in the process and nearly died. The Pope had to undergo emergency surgery at the hospital in order to save his life and he finally recovered.

However, two years later, Pope John Paul II visited Agca, his would-be assassin, in prison cell where he let him know that he had forgiven him unconditionally. In the process, the Catholic leader clasped the hands of Agca, the same hands that have earlier pointed the gun at him and pulled the trigger that fired four shots at him on his own hands as they both talked to each other. When the Pope rose to leave, they both shook hands.

After coming out from the assassin’s prison cell, Pope John Paul II said that they spoke together with Agca, the man who tried to kill him as a brother whom he had pardoned. In my opinion, this is one of the most famous acts of forgiveness. Despite the person trying to assassinate him, the Pope had it in his heart to forgive him. However, the miracle of forgiveness usually begins with someone being willing to move beyond the past pain in faith that God will help them forgive and then experience freedom (Toussaint et al., 2015).

Part H.

The act of sincerely forgiving others is a powerful choice that effectively demonstrates empathy and self-love for others (Toussaint et al., 2015). I have learned that it allows those who choose to forgive, the chance to release negative energy thus not becoming overwhelmed by anger. In addition, the ability for people to manage emotions in a productive and effective way does not come easy for most people. Therefore, the act of forgiveness in a crucial life skill that should be learned by all people and regularly put into practice.

In addition, I have learned that there are several activities to be used in teaching forgiveness skill. One has to let go of stress, have a dialogue, and inspire empathy. On the other hand, I have learned that acceptance greatly helps because replaying negative events in one’s mind only get them stuck in a loop.

Also, closure is not essential. Forgiveness is a choice that everyone can make regardless of how the other person is handling the situation. One might not always get the closure that they hoped for and therefore should just choose to forgive and let go. Additionally, expressing emotions and exploring the issue from two sides is important in tapping into empathy as well as increasing forgiveness. Finally, I have learned that time heals and people should have the space to process their emotions at their own pace.

In summation, forgiveness is an important life skill that requires patience, instruction, and practice so as to reduce life stress and increase optimism and hope for the future. Therefore, different approaches should be used in teaching the skill because people from different backgrounds tend to perform differently with regards to the skill.

Reference

Gillis, C. (2016). Political Papacy: John Paul II, Benedict XVI, and Their Influence. Routledge.

Toussaint, L., Worthington, E., & Williams, D. R. (Eds.). (2015). Forgiveness and health: Scientific evidence and theories relating forgiveness to better health. Dordrecht: Springer.